Woke at 5:30 AM and I could hear people milling around already. I knew they got up early on a working farm but this was a bit much. I later was told that they were the support crew for the Tough Mudder that was being held that weekend at Drumlanrig Castle just down the road. It's an amazing event and all the money they raise goes to Help For Heroes, one of my 3 !! It involves men and women basically getting through a 10-12 mile obstacle course with around 26 obstacles to get over, under or through. Some of the names of them will tell you all you need to know...... Ball Shrinker, Boa Constrictor, Funky Monkey, Swamp Stomp, Sweaty Yeti and Chernobyl Jakuzzi !!!
Anyway I wandered into the Morning Room for breakfast and I was all alone. Again.
Breakfast was REAL porridge, the only way it is supposed to be made with water and salt, more bananas, loads of coffee and yogurts, toast and jam.
Frances who is a lovely lady and fantastic host brought my clothes in perfectly washed dried and folded. What an angel. Thank you so much Frances, I cannot tell you how much this lifted my spirits. We chatted for a while, she is a great source of information on Scotland, the area and I reckon just about anything. The room I had was downstairs opposite the room I had breakfast in and I must admit curiosity got me to the point of asking the question. Is this place haunted ? She said Oh yes we have had some experience of that. Apparently there is a ghost cat that appears when visitors most need it and she will sit on your pillow and stroke your face. Well I never had this so I must not be in need. This made me think, what the hell am I moaning about. You might be tired, alone and moving further away from home but put it into perspective.
I got myself ready and said goodbye to the best landlady in Scotland and headed off. Just as I was leaving I am sure that I spotted a cat disappear around the corner of the house !! No joke !!
The view from the farm...
Award winning stock... lamb stock hehe
I planned this route from Gretna to Glasgow taking me towards Sanquhar all because of one 7 mile stretch of road called The Mennock Pass. This is one of the Top 100 Climbs in the UK and one of the most beautiful roads in Britain. It also passes through the highest village in Scotland, Wanlockhead. But feeling like a total failure I had decided last night that I would take the easy road towards Crawfordjohn (The A740) which runs parallel to it instead. So not only had I added probably 30-40 miles because of this pass but I had not even done the thing. I chickened out !!!! Well, I could not care less what anyone thinks. Shoot me.
But as soon as I turned up the road which said Crawfordjohn 9 miles I spotted a sign across the road which said Road Ahead Closed, No Access !!!!!!
OK, what do I do now. it is very early on a Saturday morning and there is absolutely no one around for miles and if I get this wrong I will have to do 18 miles back to this spot and then 4 miles back to Sanquhar and start again up the Mennock Pass. This would have been too much. This I swear would have been the last straw and I would have given in and booked back into Frances B&B and got the next train home from Dumfries.
But I carried on and took the risk. The valley which climbed gradually upwards towards Crawfordjohn was stunning. The weather was turning bad as predicted. Also as I stopped for my first early morning comfort break I noticed dozens of small bugs attach themselves to my legs and fly around my face and neck. Well hello to the famous wee Scottish midges. Just perfect timing. When I am getting closer towards complete despair you remind me that there are even more special layers of extra despair underneath you kept as a surprise. Like a hidden compartment in an antique cabinet or something. Just an extra little something to keep you guessing....
The main worry I had of course was I had stopped for a wee so it wasn't just my legs and face on show in that deserted Scottish valley !!!! Luckily I had planned ahead and had sprayed myself all over with Avon Skin So Soft with Lemoncella. Amazing stuff, apparently even the Army buy it in by the tonne !!! But I had to give somewhere I had forgotten a few sprays to be sure !! Luckily it was in my back pocket... I wonder what anyone would have thought seeing a strange cyclist spraying his privates along a deserted road in Scotland at 7 AM on a Saturday morning !!! How did I sink this low !!!!
It did seem to work though as the midges just sort of stuck to your legs and were in a state of shock. I really do not think they like the stuff and just cannot bare the thought of sinking their teeth into my skin covered in this stuff. Either that or they hate the taste of Science In Sport chocolate orange energy bars oozing from my pores even more than I had grown to hate them. Yuck !!
Not a soul for 9 miles I did see....
Then I got to the workmen and my mind was made up, if it was no go my trip was over. I was kind of hoping they said " Turn your butt around and go back to where you came from biker boy, can't you read the signs...."
But, he didn't. Boss Man said, " Just stay on the left mate, you will be fine. The fresh tarmac is on the right, don't ride it or it will eat your tyres up as it's hot !" Half of me wanted to hug him and the other half wanted to punch him in the face to get punched back and beaten so hard I could not complete the thing !!! But instead I sadly just said thank you so much, I am doing lands end to john o groats for charity. He smiled and said Nice one now crack on we're busy !!! Love it !
That face is saying " You have no idea how close I came to giving up there people !"
At the other end of the road. I spotted another cyclist out for a jolly coming the other way. I shouted to him. "Stay on the right hand side mate." Pass on a good deed, you don't own it, it's a lend.
Ten minutes later I was cycling through Crawfordjohn and onto the B7078 which hugs the M74 into Glasgow. This is where I had some rain. When I say some rain I mean rain so hard, thick and torrential it was unearthly. If you had dipped me in a swimming pool and held me under for half an hour I might have been dead but I would not be as wet as I was at that moment. Not only that but the road was horrendous. I have been on better cattle grids that shook me less and this bad cattle grid road lasted alongside the biggest downpour I have ever seen for the next 15 miles. By Larkhall I was so wet I squeaked. My legs felt twice as heavy as the water that was inside my shoes and socks weighed me down. Every layer of clothes was at 100% saturation and I was so fed up I had gone past caring. As quickly as the black cloud came it went and ahead of me was blue skies over Glasgow !! The big black metaphorical cloud over my head was bigger and ready to explode though. One consolation though which I am still a bit confused about was my saddle sores stopped stinging !!??
Getting into Larkhall I stopped at some traffic lights and spotted a healthy runner type bloke. I love the way they still run on the spot a bit as they wait for the lights to change to green man go. It's like if they stop they will cramp up and not be able to go on green. Isn't it more efficient to stop as much as you can to save energy. Most cars do this now at traffic lights. I have to. Mind you it would be a right pain taking a turbo trainer out with you on a Sunday ride. By the time you had it set up with your special trainer wheel in the clamp the lights would be on red green amber red a dozen times. No, I will stick to cycling thank you. Anyway I asked perpetual running dude if he knew where a bike shop was and he cheerily said yes mate, next lights, turn right and he is up there, Great shop too. !! Tidy !!
Great shop he was too. Pro-Am Cycles in Larkhall. Fantastic guy in there, helped me more than he realised. Just having someone to talk to that knew how I must be feeling was great. Bought new socks and an extra jersey layer as I was feeling absolutely freezing after getting wet. He checked my bike over without charging me and topped up tyre pressures. I have just wrote a review on facebook. Credit to the cycling community.
This is something I had not accounted for too. The weather up north gets colder so I need to think about layering up. I guess if I was doing the other way from J O G to Lands End you should consider layering down. ?
Tyre pressures were about 80 so I am so glad I stopped here, now safely back to 110 but he did warn me of a nasty gash on the rear tyre !!! Maybe this would be my get out clause. Sorry tyre caused me to pull out. Pathetic Richard. Get on with it !!!!
Another use for tri-bars. A washing line to dry your socks and over shoes.
Into Glasgow, the home of the mighty Celtic...
But across the road the place I most wanted to stop and have a look around is the Chris Hoy Velodrome. Love this bloke. He is the greatest cyclist in my humble opinion.
The SSE Hydro, I was lucky enough to spend 2 amazing days here in October last year watching my favourite band U2 !!!
The road ahead was closed off for a very important ceremony, The Orange Walk.
Drying nicely...
Getting close to the beauty of Scotland now, on route to Loch Lomond.
Told you so, Loch Lomond...
Great roads too but big black clouds please stop following me !!!!
The rain started again alongside the Loch and I had a pretty bad incident with a Tour Bus.
What is it with Tour Bus drivers that they feel they have to intimidate and bully all other vehicles and cyclists that dare to get in their way. I was already feeling at my lowest ebb when a bus driver decided to park his huge bus about a foot behind me, I could feel the heat of his engine on the backs of my legs and the sound of his engine was deafening. I had nowhere to pull over and no hard shoulder so I just had to keep on going. He eventually overtook me leaving about 12 inches from me but as soon as he had passed he slammed on his brakes as another mental case with a coach drivers licence was taking a corner too wide ahead so I just about managed to skid to a halt. I overtook him in the gravel and gave him a look to kill but carried on. He did the exact same thing about 10 minutes later and this time I did have to stop myself crashing into the back of him. I lost it. I punched the back of his bus and adrenalin shot through my veins and I took off and overtook around him and told him exactly what I thought of him and might have had a few seconds of what you might call "losing it". I pedalled fast and in the middle of the lane for about 3 miles. I cannot remember much more about this but all I can remember was thinking to myself I have to calm down, do not ever let this feeling take over you ever again. You are a husband and father and although you are going through some physical and mental stress, this ride and anything else in your life is not as important as the 3 people called Debby, Jess & Callum. I pulled over and caught my breath as I had probably been going flat out for the last 3 miles. I did check on strava for a KOM but no segment was active. Maybe I could name one "MY LOCH LOMOND BREAKDOWN STRETCH" or "THINK BIKE YOU IDIOT"
This was the lowest low point of many many low points and it made me realise how extreme my stress had got.
The next 12 miles were painful. I have never ever been as tired as this. You know the feeling you get after any upsets where the adrenalin levels drop back to normal and you have absolutely nothing left. Your levels of power, adrenalin, oxygen, glucose, etc, etc are all flashing bright red at 0.5% !!!!! That is how I felt. I was even bent over the handlebars pedalling like it was a 20% uphill and it was virtually flat. I counted down the miles 12...11...10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2..1.5..1.........Welcome to Tyndrum ( I renamed it Doldrum).
The chip shop was busy and very very posh. I ordered 2 fish and chips and put a massive slice of carrot cake on the counter alongside a bottle of coke. While waiting for the food I rang home and had the hardest and saddest conversation with Debby I have ever had. I was being listened to but I did not care, there were a lot of tears and I think I remember telling my wife I was done and I was finishing. I was beat and I could not carry on. I had a huge day to get over tomorrow of 128 miles and another 108 on the last day and at this point in time I did not think I could even ride the 1 mile back to my B&B at Dalkell Cottage. Debby was amazing, she said get your food and get a good rest and ring me later. Don't worry. I love her so much. She has and will always be my rock.
The B&B was without doubt the worst one in Scotland. I know what you might be thinking, a 5 star castle would have felt like a YMCA to me at that point given my mood but seriously after reading the tripadvisor now home I understand that it was the exact opposite of what a weary traveller needed at that stage. The first thing I was told was there is no laundry, bike in shed (unlocked) at owners risk, shoes off and breakfast for you is at 8 AM as you are late. Well thank you.
So my next 2 hours was shovelling food, showering with no soap, I had to pinch the hand soap from the communal toilets to wash myself and my clothes in the shower tray. Luckily I had an old self standing oil heater in my room I turned on to try and dry my clothes. I wrung out the worst of the water in some old towels. One thing they did have was a drying room. It wasn't hard to find, I just followed the smell of boot sweat. I switched the dehumidifier onto full power for 2 hours and laid out all my gear as close to it as possible. Breakfast was negotiated to a bowl of economy muesli and a glass of milk that I had to put in the sink filled with cold water and prayed the dry heat blasting off the oil heater didn't churn it to butter by 5 AM !!! Was it too much to ask for a small piece of sellotape for my top bar directions. Yes it was too much. Dalkell Cottage, Tyndrum. You stink. Congratulations on being the worst B&B in Scotland. In a weird way he actually helped me as I got some energy from this attitude and I used it to give me the focus to get my stuff ready for Day 7. I went to bed just thinking about my Deb, Jess & Cal and I said to myself. These 3 are the only things I will ever focus on from now on. Not me and my problems, not my career and the stresses that can generate. I kind of let it all go in an instant. Nothing mattered anymore except for them and even if I didn't get this thing done and failed. A great husband and father is someone who is there and cares for the ones you love. Live for them and die for them. Make sure they are at 100% physically and emotionally.
She texted me just as I was dropping off and she said she loved me and rest and speak tomorrow and see what happens.... So I did. I went to sleep seeing Deb's face in my mind and I will just see where tomorrow takes me. North or back south towards home.....
Stats: 106 miles ridden, just 3893 feet climbed, 5601 calories burned, average speed just 13.2 mph. taking me just over 8 hours to complete.
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